what's wrong with lying

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We all do it, but experts say we might want to rethink our approach. Here's how Filed Underparenting styles 1 of 7 by: Colleen Oakley The Lying Game “It’s sleeping.” That’s the lie I told my 3-year-old son Henry when he found the dead cockroach on the floor. But I didn’t stop there. When I flushed it down the toilet and Henry asked where it was going, I panicked. “Um … it’s going to find its mom.” Is this an acceptable form of parenting? Experts tend to think not. "Parents lie about death, divorce, disasters, and the list goes on ... to protect their children, but kids are very perceptive and may end up not trusting what they say in the future," says Julia Cook, parenting expert and author. To help you make the right decisions, we’ve asked parenting author Bonnie Harris to point out the most common lies we make as parents, and then offer a truthful alternative. So the next time a bug goes belly-up in your bathroom, you’ll be prepared. 6 from our partners: 12 Year Old Writes Heartbreaking Letter to Her Future Self Before Dying Kristin Cavallari Shares A Baby Bump Selfie Viral Gay Dads Respond To Criticism Over Instagram Photos 8 Simple Steps To Making A Cute Monogram Nursery Décor Study Shows Babies Understand Relationships Earlier Than We Think Emily Blunt Bumpin’ In West Hollywood 11 Comments Oldest First Newest First sciflyNov. 17, 2013 at 10:47pm About page #4 isn't "...Babies grow in their mommy’s belly” a lie as well? How 'bout, "There is a special place in mommy where daddy plants his seed and the baby grows there." sciflyNov. 17, 2013 at 10:55pm About page #6 If you tell your child that you will not die for a long, long, long time and then you die the next day in a bad accident, aren't you setting the child up for a really big emotional problem? Anything wrong with, "I will always live in your heart and I will always love you." TaintedMustardNov. 17, 2013 at 1:43am You don't need to volunteer every bit of information, but as they get older and start questioning certain things, it's always better to tell the truth than to lie, even if the truth isn't the *whole* truth. They'll get there eventually, either with your help or on their own. A questioning attitude should be rewarded with the truth, even (no, *especially*) when the truth is hard to take. Balance difficult truths with a sympathetic and comforting tone. DaddyknowsNov. 17, 2013 at 2:10am A child is punished for lying, yet it's ok for an adult to lie. Kids can handle the truth; we, adults, however ! d1anawNov. 17, 2013 at 3:25pm You have the option to not share your past with your kids. They have no innate right to know every little thing you did before you had kids. And many of them will throw it in your face if you feel the need to be fully confessional. I didn't do anything major myself, but that still didn't mean I had an obligation to present my teens for review. I think today's parents try too hard to be friends and buddies instead of parents. They want to be the "cool" parent. And kids truly don't need that. They need someone who will have their back and yes, even be their excuse when they really don't want to do something. casper489Nov. 18, 2013 at 6:27pm When my daughter was about 3 1/2 or 4 she was being very disagreeable about goint to take a nap. I told her that she had better be good because Santa was checking on all children, this was at Christmas time. Just then my phone rang and it was my brother and when I said "well, hello Santa." He went right along with me. Needless to say my daughter was wide eyed and suddenly ready to take a nap. I did not usually tell her lies like that but I was becoming ver frustrated that day as she would test me to the end! I asked her if she wanted to talk to Santa, to which she said NO......in later years she even laughed with my brother and myself when we talked about the incident, to which she remembered! emryldmystNov. 18, 2013 at 5:56am No, it's not ok to lie to your child.. ever. If you don't want to discuss something tell them you'll talk to them later. If they're too young for whatever it is, tell them that's adult stuff and you'll talk to them when they're older. Children are not like adults. They are extremely literal with very little gray areas in their thinking. If something comes up like the dead bug in the story above, tell them it's dead. Why would you tell a lie then another one to cover it up? I raised three children with full intent on total honesty after living with a mother who lied incessantly. Yes, a few times I slipped and told "little white lies" ie - lies but I always set it straight and apologized. I believe this has made my family close and my children feel safe in the knowledge that they will always be able to trust me implicitly. sachanikollNov. 18, 2013 at 11:14am I lied to my son about why his dead beat dad is not in his life. I'll tell him the truth when he's old enough to understand. wittysisNov. 20, 2013 at 11:24pm You should tell them the truth, no matter how embarrassing, heartbreaking, etc. The younger the child, the shorter the answer. Lying only leads to more lies. Lying also teaches your children it's okay to lie. Children learn by example. Parents should be their best example. Sometimes the truth hurts. susana2345Nov. 20, 2013 at 3:47am My Name is Susan williams , From United States. 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